Forgive Or Not?

Hey everyone, so this is an article from a friend. She’s Doreen Dotse. And it’s likely you’ll be seeing a number of posts from her in the coming days. You can get in touch with her on Facebook at Doreen Horla Reeney.

Rosie had found out that her boyfriend had been cheating on her rather too late. It had been 3 years since they started dating but she had no idea what had been going on. She trusted Ronny with all her heart and wouldn’t have believed if not for what she had seen herself. She was devastated. Her life had come to an end. The guy she thought was her world had just crushed that world for her.

Ronny had been sleeping with a colleague at work for a while now. He had kept this well hidden but obviously not well enough. Rosie found out when she gave him a surprise visit. They had all been shocked at the turn of events.

But Rosie loved Ronny so much. She could not picture her life without him. She knew he loved her too. But this issue had caused her not to trust him. The question still remained. In spite of the love they shared, was she willing to forgive him? Was she willing to let go of the hurt and pain? Or she would prefer to forget about him and move on with her life?

Often times we are faced with one challenge or the other in our relationships. It might not necessarily be cheating. It could be a behavior that your partner had shown when your friends were around that you didn’t like. It could be anything. But do you believe the love that you share is powerful enough to bring you back to your partner?

Rosie’s friends told her to “punish” Ronny. They told her not to pick his calls or answer his texts. They told her to block him and avoid all communication with him. But Rosie wanted to hear from Ronny. She wanted to hear what he had to say. She had many questions she wanted to ask him. She was confused. Meanwhile, Ronny was doing everything he could to get her attention. He was really sorry about what had happened. He had not planned for things to turn out that way. He was himself devastated. Rosie was the love of his life. He could not live without her. But he couldn’t get to her. Her friends were making sure of that. He wanted to make things right with her.

What do you think Rosie should do? If you ask me I think she should speak to him. Her friends who are giving all that advice do not know Ronny like she does. Of course, they don’t want her to get hurt but they also shouldn’t be the reason why she will lose the love of her life.

Forgiveness takes time, we all agree but I believe that if you want to forgive someone, you need to decide now. In the long run, you will forgive the person but things might have changed. Distance would have been created, trust would have been broken. One moment can crush all the good memories you have of a person. The question we all should be asking ourselves is that is it worth losing something you’ve worked hard for over just a moment of regret. All the years we have spent loving someone shouldn’t be forgotten because of an issue. My point is that our decision to forgive someone should not be stretched to the extent that we lose the person in the end. If you decide to forgive someone, do it now. Later might be too late. If you think you can’t continue with the person then that’s a different story on its own. I hope we become quick to forgive so we don’t lose what we cherish most in our lives. Punishing your partner for something he has done also means that you are getting punished for something you didn’t do. Forgiveness is freedom not for the other person but for ourselves. Healing starts with forgiveness. You have the right to remain angry with someone but you don’t have the right to punish yourself by holding on to the hurt and pain.

You don’t have to agree with me on this, but I hope you pick a cue from it. #choosetoforgivenow

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