It was all supposed to be a joke until she ripped off her dress; Leaving me with a Formica board that described the preciseness of God, The well-proportioned body with deftly carved out parts screamed to be appreciated, I went into a hypovolemic shock, as the blood rushing to my brain stopped in its trail, Nothing could work properly as the whole body became victim to the brain’s derail, Suddenly, something snapped.
Boom, I was back with a bang; A bang of intense irritation and despite as I looked at her; I was angry at her, yes, how could she do that? Rob me of my mind’s rights and privileges? Rob me of an opportunity that was solely mine to explore, Why did she have to make it look like I was incapable of living up to my brain’s capacity, Cutting off my brain power like that as if she worked with Ghana’s electricity company.
It was my right to undress her, True that I was shy and couldn’t lift a finger to open the tightly fitted dress, Talk more ofhaving ripped it apart to reveal the glory that it was to cover, She could have still given me a chance,
Not make everything so easy like ABC, I was dead with words but not my mind, The normal thing was for guys to undress ladies in their minds, But now we’ve lost that privilege to being fashionable, So many naked people walking around, it ain’t even funny Guess what a man can do, a woman can most definitely do better!!!
You only love me when you can; Making use of complex formulas and prerequisite requirements, Making no room for my mistakes and stubbornness,
Forgetting that I’m human and would err, Twisting and turning me emotionally, vexing the very soul within me;
You only love me when you can; Raising the expectations of what gets you to love me,
Professing your undying love in words, but lacking accompanying actions, Wanting to talk but being unable to because you were in a “don’t love you now” mood; Breaking my little heart into millions of shattered glass like pieces;
You only love me when it’s convenient for you;
Picking me up and dropping me at your pleasure and sometimes leisure, Praising me and telling me of your love when I please you; Finding all faults in anything I do, just because you didn’t expect it, Would you just make some time to truly understand me?
You only love me when you can,
Passing the love through a filter, passing me the liquid only when I ‘deserve’ it, Throwing the chaff into my face when I don’t deserve it, Looking at me and my actions through your judgement lens, Only considering what other people apart from us would think, Never for a moment considering how all this “timed” and “filtered” love confuses me;
You only love me when its convenient,
Only when it doesn’t cost you a limb or a neuron to do so, When it’s convenient for pictures and applause, Only when the cameras are on and shooting: only in the good times, Do you even care if I see through all the act? Or you’re human so I shouldn’t expect much of you? Perhaps I should forget about ever getting the sacrifices that come with love……
I longed for His presence; but my mind in it’s twisted nature; kept bringing up images and thoughts that swayed me; It’s hyperactivity kept rising like the temperature of a child with fever; I relived memories and mistakes and all the disappointments so long it felt like forever; I traveled down the path where I used to meet him and enjoy him; The good old days when my life was prim and proper; All of these extra-territorial-mental activity ended up in a proclivity of guilt and ungodly remorse; Which left me with nothing but His absence.
So I took to writing, whenever my heart was itching; Longing for an influence that transcends all understanding; But I couldn’t help envy, nor jealousy, nor being angry at everybody and nobody; I couldn’t resist smiling enough to be loved but not ready to open my heart; Scores and scores of offenses I did harbor in my heart; Murmuring at no one in particular but forgiving no one either; I thought His presence had eluded me; So I dwelt continuously in my delusions of being alone; Tearing apart anyone that dared bring me back to the hope of His glory; Which is Christ in me.
His influence I did lace with my flesh; Trying to live in the spirit yet paying heed to my own trash; His divine love kept calling out but I preferred my struggles; After all, every man earned wages for his job responsibilities; And mine I surely had to receive, no need to let Him relive; The pain, torture and disgrace His grace bore to keep me in the race; O miserable man that I am, who shall rescue me from myself? His influence went into hibernation as He realized I wasn’t ready for the updates; Updates that would make my firmware able to absorb His forgiveness and function better.
I knew His joy was my strength but I was busy grieving Him so how could I be strong? How could I accept His Holy Influence when I knew I was so wrong? How could I join the angels in this song? Of redemption and grace and a second chance? “For I was bruised for your transgressions, humiliated for your mistakes;” Amazing grace just found me, with tears in my eyes I begin to speak in the tongues; Not of men and of angels but that which conveyed my deepest fears in an understanding I couldn’t fathom; “Come unto me all ye who labor”, indeed I have found rest now; In the arms of the Influence that birthed me and has given me eternal life.
I don’t want a friendship where you ask me to tell you about myself, As though we were in an interview, I want the friendship which grows and blossoms by itself, One in which after getting to know each other better, Our best parts glow and bad parts go low, I want a friendship which has a natural flow.
I don’t want a friendship where you ask me “can I be your friend?” As if life was Facebook where you spend time responding to friend requests from people you don’t know, I want a friendship which doesn’t tear down, but rather builds up, One in which there’s freedom to fool and freedom to receive corrections for growth, A friendship where instant feedback is appreciated, not like Instagram where all you do is like, I want a friendship between souls, not physical bodies and virtual realities.
I don’t want a friendship where I lead and you follow, It’s not like we’re trying to copy Twitter, I want a friendship where we are equal and contribute value to each other’s life, One in which we push each other to explore our fullest potential, Not one that ridiculing other’s and their dreams is what makes us full, I want a friendship which never ends because we help each other be fulfilled.
I don’t want a friendship where you are a prey and I am the predator, A friendship where all I do is milk you dry of all your resources without giving back, I want a friendship where our contributions to each other’s life is engineered by the Holy Spirit Himself, One that has Jesus at the center and so can’t tip-off like a rotation of the earth, I don’t want an eclipse friendship, where there’s abnormality because one tried to rob the other, I want a friendship which is full of substance and form.
I have a story to tell; Whispered the little bird; On top of my shoulder it perched and it’s dirge it did sing; Of a love so great, but that couldn’t last; Of a love suddenly broken by life’s pressures; Of a love between two beautiful souls; It told the story thus;
He once loved a damsel, she was the very epitome of beauty and graciousness; She was the one who made his heart beat in a rhythmic manner; She, whose smile so captivated him, he forgot his sorrows when with her; She, who made life look so easy just by dreaming of their beautiful future together; She, who gave him courage to seek what he truly believed in; She spurred him on to greatness and making a difference; A love, who brightened his world, giving him hope for each day.
Then life happened, he woke up one day and she was gone; No goodbye, no parting gifts or messages, not even a parting hug; He didn’t know he could have saved her; He didn’t know she had been dying but refused to tell him; She had planned it all along, didn’t want him to hurt; Now he held her in his arms, unable to save her; Her beautiful smile faded into a cold and still expression he couldn’t name;
My lost love, the one who my heart beat in response to; My lost love, wish I could turn back the hands of time; My lost love, do come back to me, tell me you’re back; Laugh loudly again and erase my worries; Stay with me now, don’t leave me to face life without you; Till we meet again, you’d be the love I cherished and appreciated; Thank you for being my love, I enjoyed every bit of it.